That one friend

So my husband has been telling our teens a lot lately the importance of who you hang out with. Choosing who you hang out with is more than a one time thing but it is a path that you are choosing. He always tells them that if you want to do what's right and always make the right decisions then it helps if you have that one friend that believes what you believe and has the same standards that you do. It is so much easier to stick up for yourself to not do what you know is wrong when you have one other person that will stand with you. And a lot of times other people will follow you and your friend if they were to afraid to stand on their own. But a lot of times when you are all on your own it so much easier to give in to that peer pressure because no one is holding you accountable.


All of this really got me thinking about my friends in high school and why I never went to parties or never did anything that got me hurt or in a lot of trouble. I started thinking about some of my church and school friends when we lived in Kansas City. I had Amy, Alisha, Erin, Caleb, Katrina and a lot more that I hung out with and they were all from church or school or both. We all had the same beliefs and the same things we knew not to so I think that helped keep us accountable to each other. We had a great time just hanging out and didn't have to drink, or do drugs or have sex to have fun time. We just liked hanging out and that was enough.


Then I thought there has to be more. More of a reason why I never felt peer pressure to things I know shouldn't. Why I always felt like I had someone that I could talk to about anything and be myself around. Why I always felt like I had someone looking out for me and standing up for me. Then it hit me...Matt...my brother. We are 15 months apart and have pretty much always right in the middle of each other's lives. We had a lot of the same friends. We started new school's together and new youth groups together. I always had him right in front of me leading the way. Always the good example of what to do and what not to do. He was my rock. I know now that I never would have gotten through high school or life for that matter if I hadn't had him there to lean.



We moved so many times when we were younger but it was always okay because even when we knew no one we had each other. When my parents and I moved to the Philippines my senior year Matt stayed in the states for college. I remember being so upset that I had to leave my friends and my boyfriend right before my senior year. It wasn't until my first week of school that I realized why I was so upset. I was leaving my brother behind. It didn't feel right to start a new school where people didn't no Matt or didn't know me as Matt's little sister. It was strange to not have what had become that other part of me. That was the first time I think I ever felt really alone. My parents were great and we had a great time that year but it still feels strange to me to look back at the pictures and memories of that year and not have him in them.


Even now as I'm 26 years old and married and a mother it feels weird to not be near my brother. Him and his wife, Kat, were able to come visit not long ago and it was so refreshing to introduce him to our church family here and have my friends meet him. It finally felt complete that my life now had caught up with my life before. Even when he walked in to the church with out me people told me they knew he was my brother because we look so much alike.


I know that I was so blessed to have the brother I have. To have someone who was always looking out for me. Even now I have some of the best memories with my brother. I know we didn't always get along and there were times when I was the pesky younger sister but there was no one I would have rather had stick by me than him. He loved me for me and never tried to make me change into something I wasn't. There are still days that I get a longing to see him and for him to be closer. All the time my son has mannerisms that remind me of my brother and when he does those things I think "he will be a great older brother just like his uncle Matt."


Thank you Matt for being the best friend I could have ever had growing and for always being there for me. Even now.